J & I went to Home Game #2 on Wednesday night. The good news was, there was beer and we were at the game. The bad news was everything else. Like the cold and the fact the Sox lost. But, there was beer!
In case any of you are lucky enough to one day take me to a game at Fenway, I’ve come up with some basic tips everyone should follow to make my viewing experience (and yours!) more pleasurable.
1) Take off your freaking hat for the National Anthem. Yes, ladies, that means you too. You wanted equal rights, you got ’em. That means you take off your hat even if your hair will be messed up for 5 minutes. And if its one of those stupid ass pink hats, you can just leave it off. And toss it in the trash.
2) Hot chocolate does not warm you up like beer does. Neither does eating ice cream out of one of those plastic caps. Beer (at $7.25/pc) is the most expensive option here, but so worth it.
3) You’re no fun unless you sing “Sweet Caroline” in the eighth. Loudly, off key, and with all of the made up words included. Therefore, J is no fun. He’s lucky I married him after I found out he hates this tradition.
4) Its okay if you drop your peanut shells in your beer. I highly encourage it! Makes the beer taste better. Mmmm…salt. Dropping a chicken finger in your beer is not okay.
5) If you have the bladder of a hampster, get an aisle seat.
6) Speaking of seats, if you’re in the park, you bought one (or a standing room spot). Sit there. Don’t stand in the aisle looking for an empty seat, only to get kicked out when the person who owns that seat returns to it.
7) Fenway Frank = good. Footlong = better. Monster Dog = gross. Seriously. I love a good hot dog just as much as the next fat kid, but the monster dog is too much “meat.”
8) Its okay to leave in the 8th when you’re losing, its cold, and you have to work the next day. Really.
PS — The spellchecker is back! My prayers have been answered!