Archive | May, 2008

Its Been A While

29 May

I know I owe you 50 more memories, but I’m having trouble finding them in my brain.  I’m working on it.  In the meantime, this is what I’ve been up to:

  • We got a new realtor.  She’s very nice, and is very patient with us so far.  I’m sure she’ll grow tired of us shortly.  We like her because she feeds us.
  • We fell in love with a house that was far off the highway.  We made offers & counteroffers, then decided to walk away and find something closer.  Its sad, but okay.  The saddest part is that I wanted to leave J and marry the kitchen.  And, it had an in law apartment, so I could have left J and we could have both stayed in the house.
  • I ran a 5 miler last Sunday, and thought I would die, but I actually did better than I did last year.
  • J got his first sunburn of the season on Monday.  He’s still limping around.  I told him to put on sunblock.
  • Speaking of the beach, we saw a ton of crabs.  I also saw seagulls eating the crabs, which at first made me sad, especially when I saw the empty shells.  But then I starting singing “The Circle of Life” in my head, and I felt better.
  • I will do everything in my power to stay awake for Lost tonight.  I’ll let you know how that goes at some point. 
  • I’m a loser and planning my own 30th birthday party.  I’m also a bit of a control freak, so it goes hand in hand!

Memories, Part One

21 May

Melanie had this great idea on her blog, and, the good little kleptomaniac writer’s blocked blogger I am, I stole it from her!  But she said it was okay!  Here’s the first fitty!

  1. Hanging my head out of the limo at my wedding while I waited for the guests to arrive.
  2. Driving to the Alamo for lunch, just because.
  3. Watching the Sox win the World Series in 2004.
  4. The birthday J & I Spent at Nantasket, when I knocked an ice coffee cup off the balcony on to a truck and set off the alarm.
  5. Going to Friendly’s with my aunt for Reese’s Peanut Butter sundaes.
  6. Standing in the cocktail room at my wedding with just my dad, who asked if I was nervous.  I said no, then watched as my maid of honor was just about to walk through the doors, and said “okay, now I’m nervous.
  7. Waiting to go into the living room on Christmas so my dad could set up the video camera.
  8. Filming “The Victory Garden” with my Papa.
  9. School break trips with my mom, Greg, Cindy & Joe.
  10. Seeing J standing on the stage waiting for me, grinning from ear to ear.
  11. Dancing to “Like A Prayer” at weddings.
  12. Climbing in the windows of Hillary on Saturday nights.
  13. Swinging on the swings at Fogarty.
  14. Going out for Italian with Josh.
  15. Knowing that our wedding may be the one time in my life where everyone I cared about was in a room together.
  16. Crossing the finish line at the Boston Marathon.
  17. Storming the stage with Team GDT at the Komen.
  18. Listening to “Ms. Terry’s Finishing School for Young Women”
  19. Running the Tufts 10K and telling myself to leave it all on the course, and coming in at a great time.
  20. Switching around the nameplates at TAC.
  21. Having Chinese food at my grandparents as my Papa was dying, but still finding things to laugh about together.
  22. The day J told me he loved me, knowing it was coming, and praying I wasn’t wrong.
  23. Drinking beers with the boys at lunch.
  24. Dancing outside to Steve Anthony.
  25. Crying at the end of Kirsten’s wedding.
  26. Swimming in the heated pool at Disney when it was freezing out.
  27. My first birthday with J, when he made a two hour round trip drive to give me a beautiful necklace before I went out with friends.
  28. Going to the Sox/Yankees game in 2004 and knowing it was one of the best baseball games ever.
  29. Listening to my cousin play “You Raise Me Up” on the piano for my Papa.
  30. Changing the channel on my Grandpa so I could watch “You Can’t do that on Television.”
  31. The Christmas we got Nintendo.
  32. Getting a mullet for Karen’s wedding (not on purpose!)
  33. Rolling around in an office chair at my mom’s work.
  34. Sitting at the pool bar in Costa Rica, drinking pina coladas, and listening to “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire”
  35. Driving up to Salem for the witch trials history day project.
  36. Mr Jackson’s History class, tenth grade, when he said “They were out in the forest with lions and tigers” and the whole class responded “and bears.  Oh my!”
  37. Going to NYC by myself.
  38. Reading the girls their poems.
  39. Meeting Theresa for the first time.
  40. The day my dad took me out for Chinese food before I went to college, and he cried on the way home.
  41. Being a bird in a play in first grade, and my mom & Nana came to watch.
  42. Taking my cousins to Build a Bear for a Girls Day Out.
  43. Karen singing “Isn’t She Lovely” to Nikki’s baby.
  44. Taking the boys to Dave & Busters.
  45. Watching Kirsten & Jamie dance their first dance at their wedding.
  46. J’s grandmother hugging me and welcoming me to the family — the day after I met him!
  47. Taking J to visit his best friend in New Orleans.
  48. The fact that the girls think Nikki’s baby has aged 5 years every time we get together.
  49. Frat picnics & pig roasts.
  50. Driving to Florida on a bus with the chorus, getting stuck at a South Carolina McDonalds and playing Duck Duck Goose in the parking lot.

More to come!


16 May

Why do couples have to have two sinks in the bathroom?  J & I might be in the bathroom together getting ready once a month.  Do you have to be in there at the same so often that no double sinks is a deal breaker?

There is a good reason why absinthe was banned in the US.  And just because something was banned and is no longer banned does not make a good reason to try it.  That’s some weird shit, man.

Do basketball fans have to chant “Defense (clapclap) Defense” every.single.time the other team touches the ball?  It makes me dislike basketball even more than I already do.

If you have two kids and four bedrooms, and you make the kids share a bedroom so you can have an office and a guest room, you’re mean.

New Kids on the Block were on the Today show and I missed it.  Here’s a clip in case you did too.  I don’t like the girls dancing with them on stage, but I love all the retro gear the fans broke out for the occasion.

Dirty martinis may be my answer to beverages without enough salt to keep me happy. 

My new BFF is the Pioneer Woman.  She’s got some fabulous recipes.  One day I’ll tell you about my new obsession with bread making that she helped create. 

BAC announced that we could wear jeans on Fridays.  You would think they announced that we were each getting million dollar bonuses this year instead of 8 hours worth of denim.

My inner fat kid is in search of those little butter cookies shaped like flowers, but not the sugar free kind.  Readers who mail me some will be rewarded with my love and affection, plus S & H.

I’m bored with wikiHow of the week.  Suggestions of catchy posts I can do every week are more than welcome. 

Entertainment Updates

13 May

The New Kids new song hit the radio last week.  I think its kind of “eh.”  I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it sounds a bit too nineties, yet not the good kind of nineties.  Its also creepy to hear 35 year old men crooning about picking chicks up at the beach.  It was cute when you were 20, Jon, not so much now with the hair plugs.  The song, is, however, catchy, and I caught myself singing it when I was cleaning the other day.  I have a bad feeling I’ll end up buying it.  I already changed my ring tone to “Step by Step,” so why not?

Tori Spelling may be in talks to appear in the 90210 spin off (or at least People is pretending she is).  Unless they all come back, its not worth it.  Do you hear me, Luke Perry?!?!

On another note, I know I shouldn’t care, but why on Earth is Jennifer Anniston dating John Mayer?  I can’t stand him.  Sure, his voice is nice, but his lyrics are awful.  “Your body is a wonderland”?  Come on now.  Get some real lyrics, like “Please don’t go girl.”  He’s creepy, and she can do so much better.  Jen, if you’re reading, go back to Vince! 

Lastly, Lost is fabulous and all, but I need it to end soon because I can’t stand not knowing whats going to happen.  It drives me crazy and keeps me up at night.  And the 10 pm time slot has got to go now.   Even Matthew Fox half naked can’t keep my eyes open until 11.



My Secret Shame

11 May

I’m laying it out there for all of my loyal readers: I secretly want to be Martha Stewart (Note to BAC: minus the insider trading of course.  I wouldn’t even begin to know where to start on that one).

I love to entertain, despite the stress and the fact I can’t fit many people at my house.  I have dreams of having a giant formal dining room and hosting dinner parties with place-cards and parting gifts, with fresh flowers in the bathroom.  And I will pull this off single handedly and calmly, enjoying dinner as I slip the apron off of my little black dress I’ve spilled nothing on. 

My reality of entertaining is nothing like that.  I usually spend a few weeks panicking over the menu.  I always want to have a theme (for example, J’s last birthday theme was comfort food).  All the food has to go well with each other (the exception is the calzone my mother in law always brings.  No one else seems to care, although it secretly stresses me out when she brings ham & cheese instead of chicken parm to an Italian themed meal).   I try not to make the same thing twice in a row, as if anyone can remember what we had for Christmas present opening the year before.  I always want to make something different, but that makes me nervous because I worry it will come out wrong.  Every once in a while I force myself to just make something easy and buy a bag of salad, but those are not my finer moments as a hostess.

Next comes the prep.  I try to make as much in advance as possible.  Crockpots are the best for parties.  Whatever I can’t make in advance, I prep.  I cut up the herbs & veggies, measure out the portions, have the pan on the stove, etc.  I always prep the condiments and serving wear as well.  For make your own tacos, the cheese, sour cream, scallions & guacamole get their own little bowls, covered in saran wrap, awaiting to be placed on the table.  The crackers are plated and wrapped, waiting for the pre-cut & bagged cheeses to meet them on the coffee table.  The first bottles of wine are opened, the coffee is in the pot waiting to be turned on at just the right time.

I should add that I do not get these anal qualities from my mother.  She pulls off dinners & events with seemingly little effort.  When J & I walked into my parent’s house on Christmas, 3 hours before the 12 family members were due to arrive, the house was a disaster and everyone was in their PJ’s.  I almost had a heart attack right in the kitchen.  But somehow it got pulled off, everyoneate on time, and everything was good & hot.  And she didn’t even have the cheese for the salad pre-cut!  She’s amazing.

I think I get this entertaining gene from my mom’s younger sister.  She used to host Christmas Eve, and one day I opened a cabinet above her stove and saw a list of the hot appetizers, with their cook temps & times, and a schedule of when they needed to go into the oven.  I make that list in my head now, but if I had that many people over, I’d write it down too.  My family was 30 minutes late for dinner last night, and I had to inform them that they missed the appetizer window of opportunity.  (I was kidding.  Kind of).

One of my biggest stresses is what other people bring.  Now, I appreciate help from others, I really do, but if they bring something I didn’t know about, it totally throws me off.  I didn’t plan for it!  There’s no room on the table/in the fridge/I don’t have a serving platter & spoon set out!  I almost had an anxiety attack on J’s birthday worrying that his aunt would bring cold mac & cheese, but she didn’t let me down and it was nice & warm, just needed a few minutes in the oven that I had previously scheduled for. 

I know, I’m anal.  And even with all this prep, I still usually don’t get to enjoy my parties.  But that’s okay, because I’m getting better.  I’m starting to realize that a nice dinner does not have to have three veggie choices and two kinds of bread.  And that people are really okay with one light appetizer.  One day I’ll have all my entertaining dreams come true, and be just like Martha.  Maybe that will free up some time for the handwritten invitations to my dinner parties…

Why I Dislike Maine

4 May

No offense to my Maine based readers, but I think your state should be sold to Canada, and its for one simple, stupid, selfish reason: because I almost died there.  I bet you think I’m exaggerating this little tidbit, but I’m not. 

About 8 years ago, a big group of friends from high school (about 18 of us) went camping & white water rafting on the Dead River in Maine.  Why I agreed to this will always be a mystery to me.  My best friends were going and I didn’t want to miss out on the fun, the guy I liked would be there and I figured I could sneak into his tent, I love S’mores and don’t mind peeing in the woods, so why not?

The first day was fun, despite some trouble actually getting out of RI.  It was a beautiful day, we set up camp, played Frisbee, drank some beers and grilled.  The campsite had a bathroom with a shower, and I abandoned my tent to sneak into my crush’s.  What could go wrong?

We woke up to pouring rain, along with lightning in the distance.  I hate thunderstorms, like hide under the covers and cry hate them.  But I didn’t see the lightning, so I didn’t freak.  Next came the humiliating experience of getting into a wetsuit, which dashed any hope of sneaking back into the crush’s tent that night.  And the long bus ride to the start of our rafting journey.

We divided up into groups of 6.  Our boat had 4 girls and 2 boys, and, despite the fact the guides said this was a bad idea, none of the other boys would join in.  They thought we’d wimp out and skip the rapids.  Had I known skipping rapids was an option, I would have been all over that. 

Off we went, with Vic as our guide.  He promised he had never had a boat flip over.  He also  explained that if you fell out of the boat, you should try to hold onto your paddle, put your legs up so you don’t get a foot stuck in a rock, and wait for another boat to pick you up.  The person would basically pull you into their boat so you fell onto them, and you would hang out there until the rapids ended, the boats eddied, and you returned to your boat.  I thought, “No way.  I’ll just wait until my boat picks me up.  I’m not falling on a stranger.” 

We paddled along until the beginning of the first rapid.  Somehow Vic fell off the raft, as did the crush.  We got them back in safely, and then the entire raft flipped over.  All of us were dumped into the water.  I came up to see Vic on top of the overturned boat, blowing his whistle.  I though, “Oh good, the Coast Guard is coming.”  Then I went under again.  The next time I came up, I saw Vic again.  This time, he was yelling, “Oh God, we’re fucked.”  Inspiring, huh?

Thankfully, someone picked my fat butt out of the water — onto a raft with double its capacity.  Still in the rapids.  Then I thought, “What if this raft flips?  Who will save us?”  Finally we eddied, and got back to our raft & Vic.  I was just starting to think, “Oh good, I lost my paddle.  I’ll just relax until the trip is over.”  Then someone handed me a paddle.  Bastid.

The Dead had swelled due to the rains, and was about a class IV.  I don’t really know what that means, but I know it means “not easy.”  There were three large sets of rapids to conquer.  Clearly, we failed at the first set.  We all managed to stay in the raft through the second set, though my ex-best friend sat paralyzed in fear, refusing to paddle.  We had one more set to conquer, “Three Mile Rapids,” and we were home free, back to our burgers and beer.

But we flipped again, right at the beginning of the rapids.  And this time I was sure I was going to die. I don’t remember much about this set of rapids, other than going under and not remembering coming up.  I was sure this was the end.   I also didn’t understand why the kayak-er taking video wouldn’t save me.  You can see the six of us clearly bobbing down the river in panic on the video.  I’m so glad I bought it. 

Finally, we were all rescued and returned back to our raft, where we informed Vic that we would get out of the raft and walk through the woods rather than going though another set of death water.  Luckily, we were at the end, and could float back to the buses in peace, fear, and curiosity over having to pee when we entered the river, but no longer having to pee, and not actually remembering peeing.

We nursed our aches & fears with Captain & Cokes and a hot shower.  The next day we packed up our stuff in the pouring rain & mud, loaded the cars with my best friend & her broken foot, and headed out of Maine, never to return again.  Have fun with Canada, eh?

wikiHow of the Week: For my Teenaged Boy Readers

1 May

How to Be a Great Teenage Boyfriend

A guide to be a great teenage boy friend.


  1. Always be polite, never be a jerk.  (These are generally good words to live by)
  2. Keep what you do together between you and her. (Don’t kiss and tell)
  3. Always treat her with respect.  (R-E-S-P-E-C-T)
  4. Compliments are great but keep it to a maximum of two times a day. (why?)
  5. Make her feel like she is safe and wanted. (Can those two go together?)
  6. Never leave her on her own for your mates. (No Bros before Hos, I guess)
  7. Never pressure(or let anyone else pressure) you or her into doing things.
  8. Take it slow. This is the secret to all successful teenage relationships.
  9. Never feel embarrassed by her. (Unless she has poppy seeds in her braces.  Then its okay to be embarrassed)
  10. Never be afraid hug her / kiss her in public (PDAs are bad, mmmkay?)
  11. Always stick up for her (“You can be my hero, baby”)
  12. Wait by her locker and maybe give her a kiss on the cheek, but don’t be late for class! (Don’t be a fool, stay in school)
  13. Always talk to her and be kind and protective, but let her do her own thing (she has to learn how to stick up for herself)
  14. Always talk to her and never be afraid to talk even if your with your friends
  15. Say hi to her in the hallway and talk to her



  • Compliments are a sure fire way to get a “Aww you’re so sweet” but only if you use them appropriately.



  • Don’t ever cheat.  (never ever)
  • Don’t over complement her. she will think you might be obsessed and break up with you.  (I don’t think so)