I am a bitch in my own mind. Sometimes this flows outward into the public, but I try to control it. I judge people in my mind a lot. Not really my friends, but definitely the public. Most of these seem to revolve around public transportation. Here are some of my latest and greatest.
- Wearing a lime green sports bra and shorts will not make me more likely to buy the homeless person’s newspaper from you.
- If you’re running for a train that doesn’t leave for five more minutes, I want to trip you.
- Why do people walk fast at walk signals and slowly at do not walk signals?
- Just because I’m short does not mean you can walk really close to me. I have personal space issues!
- There are a million trash barrels between the train and the door to the station. There is no need to stop and cut across a crowd of people to throw out your Wall Street Journal.
- Your bag does not need its own seat when the train is crowded. Move it, sistah.
- Yes, I know you have somewhere to be. We all do. That does not give you the right to stand in the street like a dog waiting to cross, and then hold up traffic just so you can get your latte before your meeting.
- I did not “let you go” in front of me while I was running. I stopped because you didn’t see me and I wanted to live.
- Calling a meeting on a Friday at 9 am and then showing up 45 minutes late is just plain rude.
- Don’t argue semantics with the leader of a 9 hour seminar when you’re in hour 2. No one wants to hear it.
Wow, I guess that was mostly gripes & rants. Sorry. 🙂 I’m bitter because I have to run an awful race tomorrow with BAC, and I don’t have any friends.
As I mentioned a few posts ago, J & I have an accepted offer on a house. We now have a signed Purchase & Sales, a very good home inspection, and a pile of mortgage paperwork to complete. Oh, and the highest interest rates in 9 months. Yay.
All this is fine and dandy, but what I’m most concerned about it how long it will take me to get our home in picture perfect condition. We have an advantage, as the house is newer and needs no work. Not even paint! But it needs stuff. Like furniture.
I may have mentioned that I’m anal. I’m a Virgo, it comes with the territory. I know your first home is not supposed to be perfect. But mine must be! Oh, I know there will always be things to do. But I won’t rest until the furniture is in place and the pictures are hung on the wall. Of course, we have no furniture, which is a slight problem for the wallet. But, hey, that’s what tax refunds and second jobs are for!
When J & I moved into the apartment, we got our keys on a Friday night. By Wednesday, we were all set up and ready to go. This time, I plan on taking a week off and not returning to BAC until the place is beautiful. Advertising can wait! The house must look good! I have a plan: Close & clean Monday, move Tuesday or Wednesday, and furniture shop & unpack the rest of the days. Who am I kidding, the furniture will be waiting for us at the door the day we close! I wonder if our Realtor gives presents like HGTV does on My First Place?
I digress. The one spot the house needs work is the yard. Not a lot of work, but some bushes, some more flowers, and a vegetable garden that I will spend all winter researching and planning for. Oh, and maybe a new deck, because its kind of ugly. And maybe unsafe, but whatever. J’s first order of business is to move the plants away from the house so we don’t become infested with bugs, but I’d prefer to leave them alone & focus on bigger things, like my vegetable garden!
J will also need to focus on mowing the lawn, all .85 acres of it. I’m not even sure where exactly our land is, so he’ll probably end up mowing the neighbor’s lawn too, but they have a pool we plan on using while they’re away, so I’m sure it will even out. My parent’s friends were nice enough to give us their lawnmower, which is great, because you can buy a lot of Ikea furniture for the cost of a lawnmower. Its not a riding mower, which is perfectly fine, as beggars can’t be choosers and we’ll take anything we can get. But I would have loved to see J look like this one day as he hauls ass around the yard.
On the advice of other, much smarter friends, I bought In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto by Michael Pollan. This book is not one I would normally buy, as its severely lacking in romantic embraces, dying children and crushed marriages that seem to overpower some of the crap I normally read, but it is about my favorite subject: food!
The beginning of the book is very scientific, way too scientific for a 7:36 am train ride. I have to admit that I skimmed over a lot of the junk about nutrition, just as I would have done in college. And I graduated, so it worked then!
Pollan defines “orthorexics” in his intro: people with an unhealthy obsession with eating healthy food. I read that and thought: this is what I’m becoming. Now, those of you who saw me scarf down fried calamari twice this week might disagree with that. In truth, I’m not obsessed enough with healthy eating to actually do it all the time, but I think about food constantly. I plan meals, I read labels, I count servings and calories, and I’m always planning my next meal. Its borderline obsessive. The ultimate goal is to eat healthy, but sometimes a fryalator stands in my way. I’m a fat kid at heart.
Pollan’s manifesto breaks down into three key points: Eat Food. Not Too Much. Mostly Plants. Sounds simple enough, right? Not really. “Food” should be anything your great grandmother would recognize, with an ingredient list of less than 5 ingredients, all of which you should be able to pronounce. No high-fructose corn syrup (which is in a lot of food. A real lot of food). You need to think about what your meat ate before you eat it. And what’s in the soil where your carrots grow. You should try eating until you’re 80% full.
All good, in theory. But how long does it take someone to grocery shop with conditions like that? Oh wait, you shouldn’t shop at the grocery store, but focus on Farmer’s Markets (which is a great idea, if I could find one on the weekends near my house). And what will your food bill become? Even buying produce in season & on sale is more expensive than a few boxes of mac & cheese and a can of corn.
Now, I haven’t finished the book, but how do you do all that without becoming obsessed with food? I hope I find out. I’ve been trying to eat healthier, in general. I’ve almost given up faux sugars, sans the occasional Diet Coke or WW ice cream bar. I really try to think about if what I am eating has nutritional value, and try not to eat it if it doesn’t. And this consumes me at times. I have to be 100% on my game, and “good” to lose weight. One trip to the food court where I wait for my train, and the scale is thrown against the wall in disgust. Put me in a restuarnt with a martini, and I can kiss the week goodbye. Lack of willpower seems to be a common problem in my life.
The bottom line: Its really much easier to be fat.
This bunch was way harder than the first fifty!
(No, you’re not having de-ja-vu. I can’t get them to renumber from 50 on, and I’m too lazy to type in the numbers myself).
- Ordering room service in Costa Rica at midnight and eating grilled cheese in bed.
- Running on Coronado Island.
- Stuffing the mailboxes in Mrs Fermainian’s third grade classroom.
- Making my first foul shot — a bucket shot!
- The end of our rafting trip, when we all just floated down the river, exhausted.
- My going away parties at TAC.
- The day J & I signed our lease, bought a mattress and had lunch over plans of setting up our bedroom.
- Getting up at three am to leave for vacation, so we’d get there early, and not waste a day.
- Drinking on the beach.
- The year my parents bought my brother & I the set of basketball cards, and we returned them for the box of packs, because we liked opening them.
- Playing on the rocks.
- Going up to school to see Marty Quirk on a Wednesday night, then going to work the next day hungover.
- Singing Green Alligators.
- Holding the babies at the day care.
- Calling in sick to work to go to one of Kirsten’s dress fittings.
- Moving into our apartment and ordering Dominos while unpacking.
- Playing the harmonica with Leroy the Iguana.
- Watching the kites fly in Newport.
- Sitting on the beach on Marco Island, doing nothing.
- Making the lady at the bridal store pull out 30 dresses for Kirsten & I to try on.
- Listening to Ant sing “Oh What a Night” in his basement.
- The day Mikey told me they were going to ask Greg to pledge.
- Meghan & Betsy locking Kirsten & I out of her house, barefoot, in the snow.
- Friday nights at the hockey rink.
- Going to the rocks in Narragansett and walking to the “car” while Kirsten carried her sopping wet shoes.
- Hanging out on the lifeguard chairs at the beach.
- The care package Kirsten made me when the boy I had a crush on told me he liked her.
- Drinking with J and discussing our plans for our life.
- Lunch at the Cabbyshack the day we got engaged.
- Driving to the beach in Mikey’s Jeep, getting oil all over my shirt from the stick shift not being covered well enough.
- The Red Sox 2004 Victory Parade.
- Christmas mornings with J, coffee with Baileys & Banana Bread.
- Making my cousin laugh with his Snuggle Teddy Bear.
- Chowder & Clamcakes at George’s after a long tough day on the beach.
- Dancing to Britney Spears while my friends laid on my bed and sang along.
- Going to Watch Hill with Amy Jo.
- Regulators…Mount Up!
- Halloweens when we were too old to trick or treat.
- My grandmother letting us stay up until midnight on New Years Eve, and toasting the new year with egg nog.
- When Betsy & I used to try to listen to the Lion King soundtrack simultaneously on the phone.
- Eating lobsters when my aunt & uncle babysat.
- J waiting for me when I got off the plane from Ohio.
- Riding my bike to my friend’s house — a whole 5 miles!
- Playing Rock Band with Kirsten & Betsy instead of going to a bar.
- The first goal I saved in soccer.
- The day I bought my car.
- Trying to swim/boat/float across the lake.
- Sitting under the hot springs in Costa Rica with a fruity drink.
- Getting a free beer from Jerry Remy on the Green Monster (after he checked my ID).
- Having the offer accepted on our first house!