USA! USA!

16 Aug

As all of you who don’t live under a rock a well aware, the Olympics are
on.  Yay.

Yes, that was facetious.  Don’t get me wrong — I think the Olympics are
a great thing.  When else do countries that hate each other in real life
get together to hate each other in a sports arena?  It really is a
beautiful thing, one of those nice warm and fuzzy times where everyone
gets along and is happy with each other.  Or at least they are on TV,
with the exception of the crazy Chinese guy that killed the men’s
volleyball coach’s father in law.

And I like watching sports on TV.  Granted, I spend more time pondering
how I can get abs like the beach volleyball players then actually
watching the game (I’ve never been a fan of volleyball, or its sad
elementary school gym class counterpart, deck tennis).  I also spend a
lot of time vowing to get back in shape while showing my face full of
Cheetos, so there’s inspiration everywhere!

My problem with the Olympics is the television coverage.  I turn on the
TV ready to watch something great and memorable, and I get some random
first round Judo event.  Then I change the channel to watch “Pregnant
for Forty Years,” and by the time I return to the Olympics I’ve missed
Michael Phelps getting (another) gold medal.  I tried DVRing it, but I
don’t like fast forwarding through 2-1/2 hours of volleyball to get to
one minute of good gymnastics that I already know the outcome of.  That
thing needs a chapter selection on it!

All the good stuff is late at night, later than my 9:30 bedtime.  My
coworkers at BAC wander in bleary eyed talking about all the great
Olympic moments that happened abut ten minutes after I fell asleep.  I
feel left out.  I want to watch the Olympics, I really do.  But I just
can’t get into them much more than watching the recaps the next day.
Oh, I like the tall woman who eats all the weird things in Beijing.
Does this make me a bad American?

I feel slightly redeemed, by the way, because I did see a Phelps gold lat night.  I’m a real American now!

(Oh, and does Bob Costas age at all?!?!?)

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