No Cheeses for the Mices

11 May

J & I each have outside jobs.  His are mostly mowing the lawn and doing anything I deem too hard or too gross.  Mine are weed killing (whacking & pulling) and buying and accidentally killing lots of plants & flowers.  I also clean out the shed each summer.  Its a small shed, but I like to take everything out, make it easily accessible, and sweep.

This year I set out on my task a few Saturday mornings ago, while J was out buying gas for the lawnmower.  I moved everything on the floor outside, then started pulling down the stuff J put up on the shelf that’s about 8 feet high.  Obviously, I had to stand on a chair to get the stuff down, and heave it over my head.

Once outside, I knocked over a blue trash bun with some cushions & a tablecloth shoved in it.  A tiny mouse ran out.  I did a typical girl recoil, but did not scream.  My neighbor was outside, and I didn’t want to seem too weird.  I tried not to focus on the fact the barrel they were living in had just been over my head moments ago.  And that if a mouse had jumped out and landed on me, I would have fallen off the chair, wet my pants, and spent the rest of the day crying in a ball in a corner.  I don’t overreact much or anything.

Then I pulled out the chewed to pieces tablecloth and the poop stained cushions.  And another mouse ran out.  I screamed a little then, and kind of danced around in a panic.  I walked away from the scene of the crime, and debated texting J and begging him to hurry up.  But I kept my cool, went into the shed and finished my job, jumping a mile when J returned.

I understand that mice can be cute, and harmless, and if they’re in the shed they’re not really bothering anyone.  I don’t care.  I don’t like them, and I don’t want them living anywhere near me.  Any property I own should only be occupied by myself, J, and any domesticated animals or children we may elect to have.  Nothing else (that includes the spider watching me shower last week too, by the way).

So, we went to Home Depot and bought that nice, “humane” poison that makes the mice thirsty and they go far away for water and die peacefully in their sleep.  Where I don’t have to see them or dispose of their bodies.  I think we were supposed to use 2.  We put out 12.  Better safe than sorry, I always say!  The dead bunny on the lawn might have disagreed, he was an unfortunate mistake.

I haven’t been out to the shed this week, but I’m hoping nothing else is turd covered or chewed.  Because then things might get nasty.

(title is from a line in a song in A Muppet Christmas Carol, sung by Rizzo the Rat.  It might be the best version of A Christmas Carol ever).

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2 Responses to “No Cheeses for the Mices”

  1. mare May 11, 2010 at 9:26 pm #

    Good luck with you pestless quest.

  2. Jesse May 16, 2010 at 9:59 am #

    LOL… mice recoils, screaming and pant-wetting are not relegated to women… Trust me. Good Luck

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