Professional Excuse Maker for Hire

21 May

In short, I suck at the gym.

A year ago, I joined a gym in the next town over from me.  I had high hopes, and, per usual, they fell short.  I went maybe once a weekend, almost never during the week.  It did come in handy for hot showers when we lost power for a week last summer.  But it just wasn’t convenient.  It wasn’t near the train, and it wasn’t on my way home from my job when I moved to RI.  Can you be a professional excuse maker?  Between that and worrying, I’m the best ever.

So, when my one year contract was up, I joined the gym at BAC.  Its cheap, and how much more convenient can you get?  Plus, I could run or walk during the day and shower before going back to work.  They even have towels and soap/shampoo provided.  Really, no room for excuses.

Ha.  Every Monday, I dutifully drop my bag off in the gym.  And every Friday, I faithfully pick it up.  It doesn’t move in the five days in between.  I open the door on Friday, and say hi to the girl at the desk.  When I do, I picture her thinking, “oh, good, she’s coming to work out.”  And then I feel as though I disappoint her when I slink out with my bag, avoiding eye contact.  I like to try to convince myself that she doesn’t know that I didn’t work out every day that week, maybe I’m just exhausted.  Maybe I spent 2 hours at the gym in the morning.  Who is she to judge?

But in the end, I head for my car (which is a long walk away, for the record.  And I take the stairs in the garage.  Take that gym judger) and home to my Chinese take out.  And I promise myself I’ll be better, yet cry a bit each month when the money for the gym is deducted from my checking account and I realize I’m averaging $20/visit.  I’ll go this week, I swear.


One Response to “Professional Excuse Maker for Hire”

  1. Mare May 21, 2012 at 8:49 pm #

    I’ll go if you go.

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