Why My Dog is a Jerk

29 Oct
  • He walks past me and farts.  Just to prove he’s there.
  • He knocks kibble out of his bowl and won’t eat it off the floor.  Until I try to sweep it up, and he eats it out of the pile of dirt to be picked up.
  • When I say – Go to bed, Mommy’s going to work – he looks at me like – You’re crazy, you lazy fool.  I know you’re going shopping.
  • He keeps eating the baby’s pacifiers.  
  • He can only be walked with a Gentle Leader Head collar.  He has destroyed at least three of them.  We think he believes that, if he destroys it, we won’t buy another one to put on him.  (I just bought three of them, to be safe).
  • He sleeps like this on my bed every morning.  Sometimes he snores so loudly I have to kick him off.  Image
  • When we all go in the car together, I have to sit in the backseat.
  • He won’t touch a pair of socks by the bed all day, until the minute J gets home, when he’ll steal one immediately.
  • He barks at everything he thinks he sees outside.  I told him the other day that I didn’t want to hear him barking unless someone was walking up the drive with an axe.  But if someone was coming to murder me, he probably wouldn’t bother to bark.  

He’s a jerk, but he’s our jerk.  And he’s lucky we love him.




2 Responses to “Why My Dog is a Jerk”

  1. Mare October 29, 2012 at 6:14 pm #

    I am too distracted by that cute baby!

  2. Monica October 29, 2012 at 7:56 pm #

    Ok, that picture of you guys is adorable. Seriously.

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