I Would Buy You a Monkey

1 Nov

(Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?)

If you found one million dollars in the morning and had to spend it by nightfall, what would you do with the money?

Given what I do for a living, I’d like to say – “invest in the stock market and watch it grow”, but in all actuality I have no idea how the stock market even works, and I’m really not smart enough not to lose all my money by nightfall, and, really, that’s a boring answer.

What I really want is a new house.  Since I have cash and could make this a quick transaction, I’d pile J, Emmy and the realtor in the car along with said cash, and hit the road.  Now, our first house took us 6 months to find, but now I’ll have the luxury of a higher budget, and the threat of losing the budget by the end of the day, so we’ll have to move quickly.  I’d start my search in the town I grew up in, and branch out from there.  But I don’t want a million dollar house.  I’m going to stick to the $500,000-$750,000 range, and here are my requirements:

–          Fenced in yard for Baxtie, plus an Invisible fence

–          Three car garage

–          Four bedrooms

–          Formal dining room

–          Central A/C

–          Finished basement for a playroom

–          In ground pool

After that, I don’t care.  And it can’t be super fancy, we’re not fancy people.  It just has to be nice.

Once I find the house and pay cash at closing (and hire someone to sign all those papers for me), I’ll set up and advance pay for the following for five years:

–          Oil or gas plus service

–          Landscaper and lawn care service

–          Snow removal

–          Housekeeper

–          Someone to come on a yearly basis and touch up paint destroyed by the dog

Because these are all things I hate to deal with scheduling/paying for/being around for.

If I have money/time leftover, I’ll shop for everything that is returnable.  Because if I’m making split second decisions, I’ll need to return some things!  I’m thinking furniture, clothes, electronics, you name it.

What about savings and money for Emilia’s college?  I’ll sell my current house and anything I don’t need, and hopefully that will take care of it all.

(Alternate, more funner answer: I’d buy cheese.  Lots of cheese.  Because life is just better with cheese).

How did I do?  When do I get my cash???

(PS – I’m attempting NaBloPoMo this month.  More on it tomorrow).

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