Dead Freight

26 Nov

Tell us about the last thing you hid.

So, I have this side business, its pretty lucrative, but it can be dangerous at times.  Especially when you have family in law enforcement, and when your partner is kind of a bonehead.  It can be really difficult to get the supplies I need to make my product, so sometimes I have to resort to less than orthodox measures to get what I need and keep the business rolling along.

Well, one day I ran out of the most important ingredient for my product.  Let’s call it Cristal, for the sake of this post.  Well, we found out that  a train full of Cristal would be coming through town, so we decided to rob it.  It’s not that easy to rob a train, but we have connections, and the bonehead partner came up with a pretty good plan.  We got the train to stop and delayed the engineers with a disabled car on the tracks, and while everyone was busy at the front of the train, we went to work on the back.  We used giant hoses to suck out the Cristal, and we hid it in a tank in a big hole we had previously dug out.  And to make sure the missing gallons of Cristal weren’t immediately noticed, we pumped water back in to the train.

Things got a little hairy though.  The delay didn’t last as long as we had hoped, and we almost ran out of time to get all the Cristal out.  We probably should have stopped a few gallons short, but I can be kind of a money hungry asshole sometimes, so the bonehead almost got squished to death by the train, but we got it all!  Good thing he’s skinny!  We celebrated our victory and covered up the hole, then noticed a little kid on a bike checking us out.  The other bonehead I work with, the pretty boy one, shot the kid.  It was pretty messed up.  RIP Drew.

But, the bottom line is, we successfully stole and hid that Cristal until we were able to recover it.  Worked out great!  I even had to rent a bigger storage facility for all my cash.  By the time my baby goes to college, she should be able to buy an entire campus!  I just hope she stops wearing those stupid hats first…

Oh wait, that wasn’t me. That was Walter White.  Sorry.  I don’t hide anything good.

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